Here’s an interesting question to ask yourself, a riddle, to get your mind thinking right at the beginning of the report. How can a crew turn up with only 17 paddlers of their own, no helm or drummer, stay in a rubbish hotel, beat Batchworth Dragons, be the fastest crew in the plate at 100m, get into the Cup in 200m, and yet STILL after all this come away with no trophies?! Answers on a postcard. Actually, scrap that, I will tell you how…
It all started in an Etap Hotel, near London City Airport. After personally an interesting car journey, a Wetherspoons dinner and a night in a small room with 3 other people, I arrived at the event with a gazebo worthy of an Uber-Chav. A couple of fantastic recruits from BA, who I would like to take this opportunity to thank, and of course the undeniable part-time talents of Rob Williams, as well as 3 of the Exmouth CC Dragons, helped to make up our rag-tag bunch. Our first race was a 5 boat 100m race. 100m I hear you cry? Indeed so. We lined up in lane 5, against Bristol amongst others, and recorded a very respectable time of 27.79. Which was, incidentally, the 13th fastest time of the day. This means that if there was a Plate division of the 100m, we would have won it! So 1 plate victory for the day so far!
200m came next, in the wind and rain of London, with the Docklands Light railway behind and London City Airport in front. How scenic. Heat 1 again, lane 5 again, Typhoon tigers AGAIN. A brilliant race, with some excellent helming from Mad Mags on the back (who I have yet to thank. THANK YOU!) led us to an excellent time of 50.83. This put us quick enough to get into the CUP race off, for a place in the CUP MAJOR FINAL! Excitedly we prepared for this race against some of the better teams of the British Dragonboat circuit, including Three River Serpents and TYPHOON TIGERS AGAIN! AAAH! Another excellent showing, in tough weather conditions, gave us a slightly slower time of 52.48, but this was down to the weather and I was very very pleased to have qualified for the Cup competition over 200m!
We lined up in lane 1 for the 200m Cup Minor Final, and after yet another powerful race (where, may I ask, did this crew become so good at starts?!) we managed to cement a time of 53.34. May I take this opportunity to point out that we finished 12th overall. Batchworth Dragons, reigning League Champions, finished BELOW us in 13TH PLACE! That is most definitely one for the record books. If we had been in their place however, we would have been in the plate major final, which we would have won and got a trophy.
So to review, at this point we have won the 100m plate if there was a trophy, and beaten Batchworth in the 200m with a time capable of winning the plate. Can we make it 3 plate wins out of 3 and actually have something to show for our exploits? Will we ever race anyone but Typhoon Tigers, who we have now raced 4 times out of 4?
For the first time in the history of Execalibre we were seeded above Batchworth in our heat for the 500m, heat 4, lane 4. Not racing Typhoon tigers, but this time we had Batchworth instead. A disappointing swap, and a disappointing race resulted in a time of 2.33.83. This put us into the 500m Repechages, against (surprise surprise) Typhoon Tigers! We wanted to get a good time to get a favourable draw for the 500m Semis, so we could attain our goal of the Plate Major Final. However, the crew seemed so be feeling the effects of the days racing, and only recorded a slower time of 2.37.63. We knew we needed to do our best race of the day to get us into the Plate Major Final, which is where we wanted to be and where we knew that after the day’s previous racing we deserved and should be.
After a hell of a lot of confusion about what time our race was about to start, we finally got to the race. Plate Semi-final, Lane 5, our competition: 3 River Serpents, Typhoon Tigers, Henley Eyot, and Batchworth Aspire. We got out of the start very quickly indeed, level with Typhoon Tigers for the first 100m, both of us clear of the other crews. They were starting to pull away by 250m, but we were still holding our own, well clear of 3 rivers next to us and by now neck and neck with Henley Eyot. This was going to be a close one…
Typhoon Tigers were well clear by 400m, we were second and Henley Eyot were a boat down on us. Glen, who had filled in on the drum, was screaming at us not to let Henley back, but yet again our 400m curse was striking and Henley Eyot were pulling away. 50m from the end though, Glen called us to ‘Give… me… MORE!’ and something happened. Deep from within, the crew exploded with power and surged us just ahead of Henley Eyot to take us over the line second. The time? 2.31.04!!! 6 seconds faster than the previous race! Fantastic!
So the stage was again set for our third consecutive Plate Major Final, which in itself we all know at the club means we are making progress when you consider our racing at Cardiff and the previous seasons racing. Could we make it 2 trophies in a row, and another London scalp?
We lined up in Lane 2, Secklow and The Brotherhood next to us, and Typhoon Tigers (who we were racing for the 6th time in 8 races!) Henley Eyot and Powerhouse beyond them. After a delayed start, we were ready to win some trophies for our long trip into the capital. ‘Are you ready?’ You’re damn right we were! ‘Attention… GO!’ and another powerful start from us, 2nd place behind the Brotherhood, a scratch crew who were getting better and better as the day went on. We held second until beyond the 250m mark, Glen abusing and berating us on the drum. The power was starting to fade in our boat though, but we were just about holding the other crews at bay. Typhoon took us at around 300m but we were in 3rd, and we held it there until guess where readers? 400m. AGAIN. Secklow attacked for the line and in typical Execalibre fashion we couldn’t respond. Secklow pipped us to a controversial (millimetres in it) 3rd place, and we had to settle for 4th place, just outside the medals, with a time of 2.21.83. On a positive note, this is a measured straight line buoyed 500m, similar to Nottingham, and we achieved 2.21.83, an excellent time and shows that we have the potential to be sub 2.20 at the nationals.
So to answer the earlier riddle: How can a crew turn up with only 17 paddlers of their own, no helm or drummer, stay in a rubbish hotel, beat Batchworth Dragons, be the fastest crew in the plate at 100m, get into the Cup in 200m, and yet STILL after all this come away with no trophies?
The answer: by not training enough to be able to hold crews off for the last 100m of a race!
The solution to the riddle: turn up to the Wednesday and Sunday sessions, work hard, and put our faults right at the Nationals!

Full Race Results (pdf file)